Timid Meows

Once upon a time, there was a very small kitten. So small in fact that she disappeared rather easily. She used her Meows scarcely, barely made a sound unless it was completely necessary.

There were brick roads that she would walk. She counted her paw placements and found spots to hide in as often as possible. She enjoyed gazing, watching, involving - no, not involving but rather occupying whatever time and thought or endeavour with that which had nothing to do with her.

Her own insignificance was something she held onto very tightly, very dearly. Being little, being small, being of no great consequence was a comfort she very desperately wanted to cling to for dear life.

I guess this kitten wanted very much and oh so fervently, to believe that if she was truly of so little significance as she claimed, that there was no point in trying. She kinda wanted to be just another one. Nothing special. Nothing great. Nothing needed.

Because, well, if she didn't know better, couldn't see better, if she was so small as to do nothing; then she wouldn't need to do anything, shouldn't be doing anything. It wouldn't be her place.

The problem was or rather is that this kitten even in her smallness was not a kitten or at least not anymore. She was a cat; a little cat with a big heart. And she had seen, heard, somewhat stumbled upon and come to know this Light...

This Light that was not, is not far off. This Light was rare and rippling, joyful and just - this Light was, is and made clear the ever so slight hope she had way down deep on her insides, that no matter how much she wanted or wished it were simply nothing. It beat within her and clung onto her more than her own will to hide or run or disappear. It was this larger than life Light; that changes everything!

And maybe she didn't, doesn't know what to do with it. Doesn't have the words, doesn't have the skill, doesn't have the anything to express even the bare minimum of this Light she knows. BUT she wants to. She definitely wants to.

Please, help me.