I Don't Like my Dreams.

Dreams take you to the edge of yourself and dare you to jump.

Ever wanted to just, how do I explain this, just not. Exactly that- just not. I remember a time when I didn't particularly want anything. I was happy with spending my time being a comfy little couch potato not bothered whether my entire day is spent sleeping or binge watching some series (probably more than one) and it was more than okay with me to do this. Actually it was exactly what I wanted.

And now here I sit. Typing with these things that so often frustrate, delight and entice me. These words! These words that make me want to paint pictures and delve into the details of a black keyboard that holds the weight of all the thoughts and opinions, loves and desires, fears and anxieties that so desperately want to slip from my finger tips into something that reflects the expression of this moment. I don't like my dreams. I mean who really does. They keep you up at night, then act as if dragging your sleep deprived brain from its place of rest early hours in the morning is just the norm, just the way things are.

As I start to mull over this realization of me, a once avid couch potato, holding minimal ambition if any, now turned heart soaring, soul seeking, living with fire dreamer. I wonder now in my current state how I then convinced myself I didn't have any, didn't want any. And I now understand that that is exactly what it was; a convinced reality. I had resided to resignation, lost that which energizes me to the fear of real disappointment. Decided not to dream lest they become too big for me, surpass my reach of attainment. So I pretended happiness looked like burying my time into the lives of those my television displayed, masked my bedding both blankie and pillow as some sort of achievement that wouldn't, couldn't hurt me.

So no, I do not like my dreams. They challenge me, and question every moment I spend doing something else, they scream murder when I can no longer keep my eyes open and need just a tiny bit of sleep. My dreams, they tell me that there's more. They push all the buttons of my passivity and deep seated inclinations to just do nothing. My dreams slam down anything that looks like a self destruct button when it comes to my old friend resignation.

I do not like my dreams. They so deeply unsettle all that I had once known and called home that this.. This must be love.

And I hope for your sake that you too do not merely like your dreams, because honestly they take all of you and that is a most beautiful truth. Each of us must unrelentingly LOVE our dreams.

Sincerely Dreaming,

//iridescent_poet//